


The diary of Merlin Emrys

by Fletcher



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Book/Movie Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:59:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1511450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fletcher/pseuds/Fletcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the book ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’. </p><p>Merlin is twenty-six and has a dead-end job in a publishing company. He’s also very single and frequently a victim of his mother’s schemes. She’s already planning his wedding to the very arrogant Arthur Pendragon, but Merlin has a very different man in mind...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_This is the diary of Merlin Emrys._

_(I write this because Elena forced me, also I’m very drunk)_

_My resolutions for the year 2014 are as following:_

-          _Not dating losers. This means no more alcoholics, cheaters, thieves, secretly married men, bird watchers and Arsenal fans (they seem to be particularly crazy)._

-          _Becoming a vegetarian. Although I must do research on the possibility of still eating spaghetti and kebab. Every human has the right not to starve, even vegetarians right?_

-          _Must finally get my rightful promotion. No one deserves to work with the annoying know-it-all Cenred. Being three years older and watching CNN doesn’t make you my boss._

-          _Read all the classics. This will help me tremendously at the office. Talking about Harry Potter is frowned upon in the publishing industry. Even though it is clear that people actually like reading it, unlike the pretentious crap we publish._

-          _Write a book that is similar to Harry Potter in order to reach ultimate goal of becoming a multi-millionaire._

-          _Never take my mother’s advice on anything, or my father’s, or my drunk friends.  
In short: be fiercely independent. _

-          _Fix Dumbo ears. Very important operation. _

-          _Most importantly, become a mature adult in a mature relationship._

 

Every single day, I try to be in the office before Cenred. But somehow that never seems to happen. Either I’m stuck in the tube, stuck in the elevator or accidentally trip in my apartment. Basically I’m screwed due to my immense clumsiness. Always. This leads to every single day starting with the same scathing remarks, like for example: “Punctuality is not your best friend, Merlin.”

Ugh, and of course today is not any different. That’s why I always spend the first hour playing Angry Birds. To be honest, most of my days are not all that productive.

In my defence, I have a very boring job. I have to write the press releases in our publishing company ‘Du Lac and Smith’. Of course Cenred always double checks everything I write. Something that is definitely not in his job description, I checked to be sure.

It basically makes my job utterly meaningless because I can write anything I want. I’ve even made Jane Austen a contemporary writer once.

That reminds me, must read Pride and Prejudice. Although I have seen the movie and the miniseries with Colin Firth like four times each. That’s probably the same thing.

The one and only amazing thing about my job is my boss, Gwaine Anderson. He is hot, like excruciatingly hot. He actually looks like he just stepped out of a shampoo commercial. Of course, this means everyone he dates could be cast in a Hollywood movie.

Naturally, a skinny boy with big ears like me doesn’t stand a chance. But just watching him is very fun too. It’s my favourite work related activity.

“Merlin, have you finally finished that Peterson press release?” Cenred suddenly asks me.  
  
“Yes of course, I’ll send it to you immediately. So you can start with the rewrite as soon as possible,” I say with a tone that illustrates how bored I am right now.  
  
“There’s no need to be cheeky, Merlin. Just because I strive for perfection. Trust me, I don’t hold you to my own high standards,” Cenred says haughtily.

As soon as he turns his back, I stick out my tongue. Admittedly a very immature gesture, but that man treats me like I’m Baldrick. And he is no Blackadder, more like Prince George.

I haven’t actually finished that press release of course, but it’s not like it really takes that much time to write one. You just praise the author a lot, I am basically a professional arse kisser.

Just after I send in my draft, I get a phone call from one of my best friends, Elena. She calls me almost every single day, ever since she got caught up in this really weird romance with one of her underlings. Unlike most of our friends, Elena has a very important job in one of the biggest banks of the country. We just don’t understand how she can possibly combine this high profile job with her many, many love problems.  
  
Even though taking personal calls is not really allowed, I decide to take this one here, instead of going to the toilet like usual. People are starting to think that I have some serious health issues with all the time that I’ve spend there the past few months.

“Merlin, hello,” is what I manage to understand between the sobs.

“Elena, what’s wrong? Is Morgause being horrible again?”

“No, she’s not the problem, Merlin. She’s perfect. She’s so, so beautiful.”

Then another couple of sobs later, Elena manages to say, “I met one of my clients earlier, and he kept glancing at Morgause all the time. He was so handsome, Merlin. All I could think about during our meeting, was that their babies would be so beautiful. Seriously, they would be perfect. My babies would look horrible in comparison. And no one wants an ugly baby. Fuck, what am I going to do?”

“Elena, you will not have ugly babies. They will be bloody perfect. And I thought we had finally concluded that you and Morgause are in fact a proper item. Trust me, she is not having babies with your clients.”

“You’re probably right,” she said. “I’m sorry for bothering you so much with my shit. You’re an amazing friend to put up with me. Will and Morgana could never do it, no matter how lovely they are. Let’s have some drinks tonight, I could use a beer.”

“Sure, everything for my….” That’s when I turn my chair around and find out that my boss is standing at my desk, looking straight at me.

Fuck! Ok, don’t panic, I just have to sound really professional right now.  
  
“…. Everything for my clients,” I continue. “As you are well aware, 'Du Lac and Smith' does everything they can for all their authors. You are in the most capable hands.”  
  
I hear a confused “What?” on the other line, but I just keep talking.  
  
“Our people are very excited about your book, and the press release will be utterly glowing. I will talk to you later, but you can always contact us if any pressing issues occur. Goodbye.”

I finally hang up, I’m sure Elena will understand. Gwaine is still looking at me very intently and with an amused grin on his face.

“Good morning, Mr. Emrys,” he says cheerily. “Can I just ask which author you had the pleasure of speaking to?”  
  
Shit, must invent author right now. Know very few of them at this moment.  
  
“Uh, that was Ms. Bea Potter, she is writing a children’s novel. It looks extremely promising, sir.”

“It’s not about bunnies, is it?”

“Well, children do love bunnies, so I’m sure bunnies are mentioned at some point. But I think it is mainly about giants. Giants who also like bunnies and ponies.”

Gwaine nods seriously, I think he might be buying it. “That does sound very promising. I must look into that. Have a nice day, Mr. Emrys.”

“Um, you can call me Merlin, sir.”

“Then grant me the pleasure of calling me Gwaine.”

“Of course, Gwaine.”

He throws me another one of his dazzling smiles, shakes his hair and walks off.

It’s then that I realize that I just had an actual conversation of about 30 seconds with the object of all my lust. Fuck, if he discovers that there is no Bea Potter and no giant loving bunnies, I am so fired. Although books get scrapped all the time, even ‘extremely promising’ ones.

*

Later that evening, I’m getting horrendously drunk with my best friends. Elena is still worrying about her girlfriend Morgause.

Then there’s Morgana, who is not capable of completing a conversation without uttering some obscenities. Obviously she’s a journalist.

Will lives off the heritance of his father who was a very successful one-hit-wonder. He lives off the royalties, like Hugh Grant in ‘About a Boy’. Sadly, that’s where all similarities with Hugh Grant end.

But the thing we all have in common is our love for beer and drinking lots of it. Plus, making fun of each other’s misfortunes. Tonight it’s my turn, again.

Morgana is the ring leader as usual. “Fuck, Merlin. I cannot believe that you told such a lie to your boss. Especially when you know that you’re a shit liar.”

Of course Will chimes in as well. “Oh, mate, this may come as a surprise to you, but I think someone who works at a fancy book company probably has heard of Beatrix Potter before. Even I’ve read those books. Why didn’t you just call her JK Rowling?”

It’s time to defend myself.

“Some people just aren’t that good under pressure. You couldn’t possible understand that, Will, you have no pressure in your life. All you do is sleep and go to the pub.”  
  
“Of course, I feel pressure,” Will argues. “Chatting up girls is very stressful. It’s much easier for you. Every bloke wants to get laid as much as possible, women are much more difficult.”

“Women want to get laid too, just not with you,” Morgana sneers.

“Ouch, that one went straight to my dick, Morgana. Although I’m sure there are plenty of quality dicks running around at the Daily Fail. Or is it just dicks?”

“Could we please stop talking about dicks? It is really not a riveting topic for the lesbians among us,” Elena interrupts.

I nod to show her my approval.

“Thanks Elena, we should talk more about the devastating situation in the Middle-East. We’re all twenty-six years old now. We should be talking about some more grown-up things, not just repeat the conversations we had when we were sixteen.”

“Ugh, Merlin. I don’t want to talk about current events,” Morgana protests. “I do that enough at my fucking job already. I’m more interested in that dirty boss of yours. Is he still utterly shaggable? You should totally get on that. The last time you had an orgasm without using your own hands is more than four months ago.”  
  
“It’s disturbing that you’re tracking my orgasms, Morgana. And dating a guy who went to jail because he pretended to be an Armenian Prince, is a traumatizing experience. Besides, I’m going to my parents this week. It’s their 30th anniversary, I’m sure my mother will have a man lined up for me.”

Morgana doesn’t give up that easily. “As soon as you get rid of another one of your mother’s potential husbands, you’re starting operation ‘Shag Gwaine’.”

Elena looks concerned. “Merlin, I don’t think it’s actually a good idea to sleep with someone in your office. Trust me, it’s not a healthy work environment.“

“Well, I don’t have a job,” Will says, “but I think shagging the boss can only improve your frankly shit job.”

“Thanks guys, for all the advice. Even if my resolution is not to listen to any of it. Now get me another beer.”

*

Luckily, I don’t run into Gwaine the next few days. He’s on a business trip to France. Vive la France.

Now all I have to do is survive this upcoming weekend. My mother’s life mission seems to be to embarrass her only son as much as possible. Ever since I turned twenty-six, she seems even more determined to marry me off as quickly as possible. I think she’s making her own list of the country’s most eligible bachelors. The list is quite impressive, unfortunately every single one of them has an impossible quirk. Tom could not stop blinking his eyes, Cliff was unbelievably boring, Sergio just oozed creepiness. In conclusion: my mother is a horrible matchmaker, if only she would realize that.

My father is the total opposite, he doesn’t care if I’m eternally single. In fact, he encourages me to enjoy the pull as long as possible. Probably because he married so young himself. Only an 18-year-old would call his son Merlin. If I really was a wizard, I wouldn’t be here right now.

Yet, here I am, readying myself for my mother’s attack. And she seems to be in great shape today.

“Merlin, darling, it’s so good to see you. We rarely see you. God, you’re so pale again. I did give you that brochure for Sarah’s tanning salon last time. Men like a bit of colour, that whole vampire trend is totally over by now. Even if you are an attractive living corpse. Here, wear this red pullover, at least that will bring out some colour.”

“Nice to talk to you, Mum. I’ll just go change now.”

I’ve learnt that disagreeing with my mother, on well anything, is a completely desperate adventure. It’s easier to make golf interesting. So I’ll just change in this totally unflattering pullover and hope this is all over soon.

As usual, my family and mum’s friends all seem very interested in my love life. Probably because I’ve always made sure that none of them ever met any of my boyfriends. I try to avoid my creepy uncle Alvarr, who is not really my uncle, and totally tries to grab my arse every time I see him.

It doesn’t take long before my mother is walking towards me, with another woman, so I’m guessing the matchmaking part of the evening has started.

“Darling, that pullover looks divine on you. You look proper sparkly. Let me introduce you to Ygraine Pendragon. She doesn’t live far from here. You probably remember her, you went to one of her son’s birthday parties when you were about 5 years old.”

Well, it has definitely started. Now let’s meet this son and get this over with.

“Sorry, Mrs. Pendragon, that doesn’t really ring a bell. What’s the name of your son?” I ask politely.  
  
“His name is Arthur, wait he’s standing right over there. I’ll introduce the two of you in a minute.”

As soon as her back is turned, my mother start her sales pitch. At least she’s silent this time.  
  
“Arthur Pendragon is recently divorced,” she mumbles. “He’s an excellent attorney and the Pendragons are extremely wealthy. Try to have a decent conversation please.“

Then Ygraine is standing in front of me again, this time with her single son. He is a blonde god. Maybe my mum has finally struck gold. Then I notice that he is wearing yellow pants, eww. All the money in the world and he is wearing piss pants. But he is ‘utterly shaggable’, so that can be forgiven.

“Arthur, this is Merlin. You guys used to play together as kids. Remember, your eight birthday party with the water theme.”

“Of course, who could forget the only male mermaid they ever met?” Arthur replies sarcastically, he barely acknowledges Merlin’s presence.

Right, he is a prat. No one could possibly combine those good looks with a good personality. Life is all about making choices.

“Now that you mention it, I do vaguely remember that party. I was going through a Little Mermaid phase at the time. But don’t worry, I have stopped wearing extravagant outfits since then, it is rather difficult to pull them off, isn’t it?”

Ha, I totally made him look at his pants. Score.

*

While our mothers are busy having some irrelevant chit-chat, Arthur keeps glaring at me. It probably doesn’t happen too often that his poor victims fight back.

An hour later, I run off to the kitchen to escape another one of Uncle Alvarr’s attacks so that’s how I happen to hear Arthur and his mum talking.

“Honestly, mother. Are you going to introduce me to the postman’s son next? I really don’t need your help, I can find my own dates. Ones with proper manners and some more class.”

_*_

_Update (I’m drunk again):_

_I hate Arthur Pendragon. He’s an utter twat and I hope to never see him again._  
   
 _So far I’m still following my resolutions. Have started ‘Crime and Punishment’, which is not as exciting as the title makes you believe. Have not eaten steak this week. Small steps._  
  
 _Still on the outlook for a mature relationship. Ear surgery costs 50 000 pounds, that mission has to be cancelled. Unless I win the lottery tomorrow._

*

Monday, I’m back at the office and I get my usual greeting from Cenred. And Gwaine is also back.  
  
Hopefully, he’s been very busy, too busy to think about some low-level employee and his unknown authors. I’ve also forgotten to do my laundry this weekend which is why I’m wearing the tightest jeans I currently own. These jeans were not made for sitting in an office all day, I’ve been walking around as much as possible.  
  
I decide to check my emails, since I’ve told Elena that she has to mail all her problems from now on. No more phone conversations, I’m a professional.

The first mail I read is from Gwaine. Most of my work emails are from Cenred, to send me the rewritten press releases. Fuck, what if he fires me with an email! Maybe this is a new trend, to avoid causing a scene in the office. Fuck, fuck, stupid bunnies!

_Dear Merlin,_

_I must thank you for giving this company a brilliant revelation.  
From now on, we must have Tight Mondays. It creates more movement in the office. _

_Love the trousers,_

_Gwaine._  
  
What the fuck! He’s flirting with me. I mean, complimenting someone on the tightness of their trousers, that’s basically saying they have a great arse which is totally flirting. Ok, maybe Morgana isn’t that full of shit. Must reply with enough flirting and avoid looking like a total tart.

_Dear Gwaine,_

_I believe creating an enjoyable work environment is what every employee should try to do. Glad to be a leading example. I’ll try to continue my efforts and will not  wash my clothes this weekend,_

_Merlin._

*  
Two weeks later and instead of exchanging emails with Elena, I’m sending flirty messages to my boss. This doesn’t really follow my resolution to have a promotion. Though having a good relationship with your boss can certainly not be detrimental to achieving this goal.  
It’s not like we have actually done something beyond sending emails.

He does say ‘hi’ now when he sees me, but there have been no inquiries to what I’m doing later that evening so really it’s all very proper. Which is good of course. Although I have heard that he isn’t seeing anyone right now. Not that this is relevant information at all.

These days the office is buzzing about the book party we are throwing tonight. The book was written by someone who worked for the Prime Minister and it’s supposed to be very revealing about what exactly is going on in Downing Street. Everyone here is excited because a lot of fancy people are going to be there and these people love to network. Personally, I find these kind of parties boring. Especially because I’m not exactly bursting with book knowledge.

*

I’m already thinking about leaving early to meet up with my friends when I run into Gwaine in the elevator and this time he doesn’t stop talking after saying ‘Hi’.

“Merlin, I was wondering if maybe you could...”

We’re interrupted when the elevator opens and one of the two owners walks in, Lancelot Du Lac. He’s very nice, but frankly has shit timing. “Gwaine, nice to see you again. And you’re Merlin Emrys right, you’re responsible for all the important press releases?”  
  
Actually that is Cenred. But I can hardly tell my boss that my job is useless.

“Yes, that is me, sir.”

“You did a good job on this one. Maybe you could do the introduction tonight as well, the author insists on a very knowledgeable staff member doing it and unfortunately Cenred can’t make it tonight.”

Public speaking, I am screaming on the inside.

“Um sir, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I get quite nervous when I have to speech.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Lancelot says. “Just get on stage at eight. Walk with me, I’ll show you where everything is located.”

And just like that, I’m dragged away by one boss, while I was maybe finally getting some action with an another one. I hate my life.

*

It turns out that the party is indeed filled with very important people. Before I know it, I’ve bumped into Arthur Pendragon. Just what this evening needed, another encounter with this prat.

“Merlin, I didn’t realize you worked here,” he says. Somehow he manages to make a polite greeting sound arrogant, it’s a gift.

“Um, yes, that’s right. This is quite an exciting evening for all of us, so if you’ll excuse me, I have to go talk to some people.”

I can be very polite. But even with my back turned, I can still feel Arthur’s eyes on me. He’s probably disappointed that he didn’t manage to insult me.

I run into one of my boring colleagues later, her name is Catherina. She just talks and talks and it’s impossible to get away from her. She reminds me of my mother. Ten minutes later and she has someone else in her web. A very important looking woman called Sophia. She’s very beautiful and seemingly as bored as I am. But of course Catherina doesn’t notice that, she just keeps talking about her pets. Until she finally asks Sophia a question. “So, Sophia darling, I can’t imagine a gorgeous girl like you is here all by herself, who’s the lucky man?”

“Well, actually, I’m here with Arthur Pendragon. We work at the same law firm and he knew I was very interested in the book, so he invited me.”

“Interested in the book? If I was on a date with Arthur Pendragon, I wouldn’t care about some lousy book. That man is gorgeous!”

Sophia can only confirm this and it looks like she’s crazy about him. Which is understandable I guess, he is really hot and really rich. A deadly combination. But why would you care about that when he has such a horrible personality? Maybe it’s a lawyer thing, they can only understand their own kind.

It’s probably time to find somebody I’m actually interested in. I look around the room, I can’t seem to locate Gwaine. Then I notice that Arthur Pendragon is looking at our little group.

Now that Catherina and Sophia are practically planning her wedding to the Pendragon heir, I finally manage to get away. Only because I have to start talking soon.

Ok, basically hyperventilating now, must remain calm. I’ll just say whatever I manage to remember from the press release I wrote, well my version of it anyway.

The minute I get on stage, my cheeks start turning red. I can’t stop it, the only thing I can do is to keep things as short as possible and get the fuck out of here.

I start with a simple “ladies and gentlemen”. No one hears me since the microphone doesn’t seem to work. I give it a small tick, the damn thing almost falls of stage. It seems I have everyone’s attention now. The microphone is working too.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this fabulous book party in honour of David Jones. The esteemed author of the book ‘Straight from the Parliament.’ It’s a brilliant view on how politicians work in this country. At least now we know they actually work. I mean, that they do excellent work.”

Ok, I’m really starting to sweat really hard now.

“They are brilliant. Everyone is just brilliant. Like this book, which is just brilliant, never mind what that terrible Guardian review said. That was a very irrelevant review anyway,  even if the Guardian is one of the best papers in this country. But, umm, anyway, let me introduce you to one of our best authors.”

Great, I just embarrassed myself in front of everyone I work with and Arthur Pendragon. I need to drink. Must find exit.

Before I can get to the elevator, my escape is halted by Arthur.

“Merlin, that was a nice speech,” he says.

“Seriously Arthur, can’t you just wait a couple of minutes before you start mocking me.” I’m about to go on a tirade but then I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder. I turn around and at last I see Gwaine.

“Merlin, that was fucking awful. You weren’t lying earlier. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you never have to this again. Next time you can just be your pretty self again.”

“Thank you, Gwaine. That is really comforting.”

“Let me completely cheer you up by taking you out to this great pub I know."

Arthur looks more grim by the second.

Gwaine seems to notice as well. “Arthur, what are you doing here? Don’t lawyers have their own parties to go to?”

“I wasn’t planning on staying long anyway,” Arthur replies. “I have better things to do than to talk to you.”

Wow, apparently there is some history here. I’ll totally ask Gwaine about it. On our date.

“Well, it seems that I have better things to do as well. Come Merlin, there’s no fun to be had here anyway.”

My mother’s manners pop up again so I say, “Bye, Arthur.”

“Bye, Merlin.”

*

Gwaine walks me to the elevator which gives me an opportunity to ask, “So what’s the story between you and Arthur? That didn’t look like a joyful reunion.”

“Oh, I’ve known Arthur since university,” Gwaine explains. “We shared a place. He was even the best man at my wedding. Then one night I caught him and my husband going at it in our bed. It was horrible.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe that anyone can be that cruel.”

“Yes, I really loved him and I think that’s why I’ve been having a lot of casual relationships lately, but maybe it’s time for me to be a bit less casual.”

I start blushing a bit. It seems that Gwaine maybe isn’t really the untameable playboy he pretends to be.

One date later, I know for sure that he is in fact amazing in bed. Like, I’m literally floating. Well, I haven’t had sex in a long time so that probably contributes as well. Still, amazing!  
  
Although sleeping with men on our first date is certainly not one of my resolutions. I’m supposed to be in a mature relationship, not just have sex.  
  
Four dates later and I’m pretty sure that we are in fact in a relationship.

*


	2. Chapter 2

_Mature relationship update:_

_Very concerned about the status of my relationship with Gwaine. We’ve been on five fabulous dates, but now he’s been in New York for a full week. He hasn’t called once!_

_Having dinner with friends tonight to review the situation. Advice from friends is allowed in dire situations like these._

_*_

“Dump him,” Morgana says resolutely.

Elena looks horrified. “No! You can’t just dump him because of one business trip. He’s probably just very busy and the time difference can be exhausting as well.”

“Or maybe he’s exhausted from fucking every model he meets in New York and there are a lot of models in New York. Dump him,” Morgana repeats.

My heart is sinking and I look to Will for some wise words. I must be very desperate.

Will looks uncharacteristically thoughtful before he says, “How big is his dick?”

I groan. “He has a big dick alright, I’m just worried what he’s doing with it. Maybe after losing his husband, he’s just not ready to have a steady boyfriend,” I suggest.

Elena jumps in. “He’s probably worried about putting his heart on the line again after being betrayed so viciously by one of his best friends. I think you should be patient, after all you know exactly how it feels to be cheated on with the whole Roger business.”

“Thanks, Elena, for bringing that up, I’d nearly forgotten how my boyfriend of two years cheated on me with my 45-year-old neighbour.”

“At least they moved,” Will says. “That’s more than I expected from dirty Roger. I think it’s best if you officially introduce this Gwaine to us, we’ve got much better judgment than you have.”

My eyes nearly roll out of my skull. “You can’t possibly be serious. No one at this table has a good track record. No one,” I emphasize dramatically.

“Oi, I’m not that bad,” Morgana argues. “There was nothing wrong with Howard.”

I share some very guilty looks with Will and Elena.

“Oh my god, what are you hiding from me?”

I realize that I should be the one to tell her. “Morgana, the thing about Howard is that he wasn’t actually a doctor like he claimed. I recognized him from one of Roger’s favourite porn movies.”

“I dated a porn star,” Morgana says, then she shrugs. “That’s actually pretty cool.”

And that is why I love these people.

*

It’s only two days later that Gwaine arrives back home and he actually calls me immediately. That has to be a promising sign, we even had a quick snog in one of the supply closets at the office.

Still, I can’t help but feel that we’re not completely on the same page about this whole relationship thing. Until I receive a text from him, inviting me to dinner at his place this weekend.

The problem is that I can’t go, unless I want to risk being disinherited. It’s Uncle Alvarr’s birthday and he’s having a huge party. He even rented a castle and invited everyone he ever met. According to my mother, it’s the perfect place to find a husband. Another reason why I’m relieved that I haven’t told her about Gwaine.

Also, according to the email I received two weeks ago, it’s a costume party which means that I’ll have to use my jester costume again. Of course, I really do look like a fool wearing that, but I also don’t fancy spending money on a costume I’m only wearing once. And hopefully not for long.

On the bright side, after I tell Gwaine that I can’t meet up with him this weekend, he suggests going on a trip together the next weekend. Now that is definitely a couples thing.

I’m so excited about it that I don’t even mind Alvarr’s party anymore. Too bad that my excitement disappears rather quickly when I set foot in the castle. It doesn’t take long to figure out that I must have received an outdated email. Everyone here is wearing their nicest clothes, except for me.

Well I can’t go back now and it’s not like this is even the first time something like this has happened to me. So I just try to look confident while wearing a jester costume. It’s not easy to pull off but I think I can manage it, right until I spot him.

Arthur Pendragon. He’s like a bad rash that won’t go away, although a rather attractive one.

Although I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s here, Uncle Alvarr loves to surround himself with rich people, maybe he really is related to my mother after all.

It just annoys me that I always embarrass myself in front of Arthur Pendragon, I’m giving that man way too much ammunition. Especially after what he did to Gwaine, no wonder his own husband ran out on him.

Though to this credit, he doesn’t burst out in laughter when he sees me. I decide to be decent as well and say ‘hello’ to him.

“You seem to like dressing up,” Arthur replies.

Have to resist the urge to punch him in his smug face. I try to ignore the fact that he’s wearing a very expensive suit which could probably pay my rent for three months.

Fortunately, I don’t have time to insult him back because my mother intervenes.

“Arthur,” she says, “how lovely to see you.” Then she takes in what I’m wearing, she doesn’t look pleased. “Merlin, darling, can I have a word with you over there?”

“It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Emrys,” Arthur says quickly. “You too, Merlin.”

“Yes, a real pleasure,” I reply, my voice is dripping with sarcasm. Then my mum drags me off outside.

She huffs. “Merlin, honestly are you trying to embarrass me? Do you even realize who’s here? Please tell me that you have another outfit."

Time to defend myself. “Ok, I got an email that this was a costume party, it’s not like I dressed up like this for the hell of it.”

She waves away my defence. “Darling, you know that Uncle Alvarr likes to change his mind about these things. You seriously need to stay up to date. Now what will Arthur think about you?”

“Mum, there is no way in hell that I’m marrying Arthur Pendragon. I don’t like him and he’s dating someone else. And so am I,” I add shyly.

She looks very sceptical about that last part. “It doesn’t really surprise me that someone already snatched up Arthur, that is some prime real estate. But who exactly are you dating?”

“It’s still very early, but I promise I’ll bring him home soon.” I have no idea why I said that, probably because she looks genuinely disappointed that Arthur and I won’t have a happily forever after.

“Just promise me that this one isn’t a charlatan.”

“He’s not,” I vow. Gwaine is very honest, well at least I know for sure that he’s not pretending to be an Armenian prince, that’s progress at least.

The only benefit of humiliating myself in front of Arthur and Uncle Alvarr’s phonebook is that my mother gives me permission to leave after only two hours.

I’m going to count this one as a victory. The jester costume stays.

*

Next up and much more important, the trip with Gwaine. He booked us a room in the country, it’s supposed to be very romantic according to the website. It all sounds seriously lovely, but I still get this weird vibe from Gwaine. We haven’t even had sex since he got back.

I know that it is probably his failed marriage that messed him up, but it’s really hard to get through to him. But he’s still without a doubt one of the best guys I ever went out with so I’m not giving up that easily. I’m sure this weekend will be very good for us.

The start of it is very promising indeed, he picks me up with his Ferrari and a dazzling smile. Then he tells me some very entertaining stories about New York on the way there. (Thanks to the Ferrari we arrive very quickly.)

That’s the thing about Gwaine, when you’re with him, all your doubts seem so silly and he makes me feel so happy.

I’m flying very high when we’re checking in which makes the fall down even more hurtful. Arthur Pendragon is here. Fuck, the man has the worst timing in human history.

I notice that his future fiancée Sophia is with him again. Crap, what if he’s planning on proposing on the lake? It’s supposed to be the most romantic spot here.

Ugh, stupid Pendragon. And he’s even smiling (it’s a very cute smile). I can tell the exact second he spots us because that smile disappears immediately. Does he seriously hate me that much? No, this has to be about Gwaine, he probably feels guilty about what he’s done. He may be a prat but he doesn’t strike me as the type that is proud to ruin a marriage. Doesn’t mean I’m going to make this easy for him.

After exchanging a few words with Sophia, they slowly approach us. Hmm, Sophia doesn’t appear to be a Gwaine fan either.

Arthur doesn’t even address him, even though he’s standing right next to me. “Merlin, what a coincidence, this is supposed to be a secluded place, but I can’t stop running into you.”

“I’m surprised too, Princess,” Gwaine tells him. “You’re not exactly the outdoorsy type. Or are you following poor Merlin around?”

“A friend of mine recommended the place,” Sophia says without a hint of a smile on her face. She glares at me like I’m a serial killer. When did she start hating me as well?

“It’s a very popular place,” I say to break the tension. Yes, that is not going to be enough. “Um, I hope you enjoy your stay, we really need to go to our room. Are you coming, Gwaine?”

“I will if you’re in the room, dear Merlin.”

Ok, I need to separate these two immediately. Arthur looks like he’s willing to punch the shit out of Gwaine.

It turns out that the website wasn’t lying to me, the room really is romantic and the view is spectacular. It’s really lovely here. But I can’t let the scenery distract me from asking Gwaine, “Are you sure you don’t need to talk this out with Arthur? I know what he did is horrible, but you two seem to carry so much hostility.”

“Oh, Merlin, you’re so sweet,” Gwaine says and he brushes my hair. It feels a bit patronizing to be honest, but then he adds, “I didn’t come here to talk about that bastard, I’m much more interested in talking to you.”

“Hmm, I thought you had other, much less innocent intentions bringing me here. This is a hotel after all.”

I must have said the right thing, because Gwaine pounces on me immediately. It’s a good thing that he packed a lot of condoms and lube.

*

We don’t even leave the room on the first day, but I insist on going outside the next day. It’s not often that I go on a trip like this and I’d like to enjoy it. Also, we still haven’t really talked about our ‘relationship status’. In fact, I get this feeling that Gwaine isn’t very interested in talking about anything serious. I don’t mind that much, just being with him is so much fun.

Like for instance, we’re currently supposed to quietly paddling in our boat, however Gwaine is singing ‘Waterloo’ from the top of his lungs.

“Come on, Merlin, sing along,” he urges me.

I’m laughing so hard that I’m afraid I’ll crack a rib. My good mood is tempered when I see that Arthur and Sophia are also on the lake. Only they look rather serious, obviously he’s not proposing here.

For some unknown reason, I feel a little bit guilty when Arthur looks at me. He just seems so unhappy. Then I remind myself that it’s not my fault or Gwaine’s that he cheated on his husband. So I turn my attention back to Gwaine and start singing ‘Waterloo’ very loudly and very off-key.

Singing is not one of my talents. Gwaine doesn’t seem to mind. He gets up and starts dancing wildly.

“Gwaine, you look ridiculous,” I exclaim. The boat isn’t holding very steady.

“I know, but I’ll look a lot less ridiculous if you join me.”

I can’t argue with that so I get up and start dancing with him. Just until we both inevitably end up in the water.

But even then we seem to have a lot more fun than Arthur and Sophia have in their boat.

*

The weekend officially becomes amazing when Gwaine tells me that he can’t wait to see me again and that I’m the cutest boyfriend he’s ever had.

This is going to be an excellent year, I can feel it in my cheekbones.


	3. Chapter 3

_Very important resolution update:_

_I’ve finished reading ‘North and South’ (it has an adaptation with Richard Armitage). A very important piece of literature so I’m making excellent progress ._

_And I might finally get rid of Cenred, best news ever! A local network is looking for a new face and according to Cenred, he has an amazing screen presence._

_Promotion, here I come!_

_*_

Oddly, the better things are going for me at work, the worse my love life seems to be. Gwaine is being distant again and this time I can’t blame it on a business trip since we’re sitting in the same building.

I invited him to my parent’s house and he told me he really couldn’t go. Of course this was before I even mentioned a date so I think it’s pretty normal to be suspicious.

And then there is Alex...

Alex is one of the people he worked with in New York. But the most important thing about Alex is that he is utterly gorgeous, exactly the kind of model you’d picture someone like Gwaine with. His ears are bloody perfect.

Add that to the fact that Gwaine has cancelled our last two dates to meet up with him and I’m starting to have flashbacks of Roger.

But I don’t dare talk about this with my friends because I know exactly what they’re going to say, or in Morgana’s case: shout.

So basically I’m on my own when it comes to the Gwaine situation. The whole thing has me so distracted that I’m having lunch at Sally’s Bistro.

It’s only when I’m looking at the menu that I realize why I never have lunch here in the first place. But by then it is too late, my faith has been sealed. Vivian is looking at me expectantly.

I look back and try my hardest to make a smile magically appear on my face, unfortunately I’m not a very good wizard.

“Merlin, you’re looking quite glum today,” Vivian says, it’s not hard to pick up the pity in her voice. “Of course, I’ve heard about the whole fake prince thing. You poor thing, these things always seem to happen to you, don’t they?”

I try to gather my thoughts and remind myself that I cannot run away from her. I’m a mature adult, I do not run away from a roach like Vivian.

“Thank you, Vivian, but I’ve quite recovered from that. In fact, I’m dating Gwaine Roberts now,” I inform her smugly.

I know for sure that she’s heard about him, there is not a soul in this city that Vivian doesn’t know.

“Aww, it’s good that you’re dating again. Gwaine is quite the charmer, isn’t he? Even after that nasty business with that American.”

She’s just challenged me to ask about ‘that American’. She knows it and I know it. Every fiber of my being wants to know it but I just can’t. I can’t cave in now.

“He’s really charming,” I say eventually. “If you’ll excuse me, I just remembered that I left my phone at the office. I’d better pick it up, I’m expecting an important call.”

I drop the menu back on the table, thank God I hadn’t ordered yet or Vivian would have probably sat down with me. I can hear her mutter a ‘bye’, but I don’t care.

I don’t care about Vivian and the way she ruined my 18th birthday party by telling everyone that Tony dumped me because of my big and ugly ears. (I didn’t leave the house for a week)

I have a whole other mission in mind, I’m going to the place Gwaine has refused me access to: his apartment.

*

It’s a bit sad that the only reason I have my boyfriend’s address is because I once had to drop off a package at his place for work.

He’s cheating on me. I know it. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. It’s not just the conversation I had with Vivian, it’s that he doesn’t want to meet my parents or my friends. That we only have sex at my place. That Arthur Pendragon hates him so much.

I’m very lucky that one of his neighbours is just leaving the building when I arrive so that I can slip in without ringing. I know that he lives on the top floor so that’s where I order the lift to take me.

Everything has happened so fast that I don’t know what to do when I’m standing in front of his door.

Obviously, a normal human would knock but I decide to listen first. Listen if I can’t hear any moaning, that posh voice of Alex shouting ‘Oh, Gwaine, my prostate, how marvellous!’ Compared to him, I probably sound like a crack whore.

At last, I find the courage to at least knock. I know that he’s home, Gwaine has barely been at the office all week, another reason why I’m feeling so suspicious.

It takes thirty seconds before he opens the door. Enough time to stash someone in a closet.

“Merlin!” he exclaims, clearly very surprised by my sudden initiative.

“Hello, I thought it would be a nice surprise to visit my boyfriend during lunch time.” I deliberately emphasize the ‘boyfriend’ part and it seems like Gwaine takes notice.

Yet, he still makes no move to give me a hello kiss so I set foot in his apartment. It is really, really nice. It makes no sense whatsoever that he always wanted to go back to my place when he has all this.

“Your place is really nice,” I say to him.

“Thank you. It’s a bit quieter here than at the office, that’s why I’ve been working a bit more from home this week. Important book coming up and all that.”

He smiles, but one smile isn’t going to cover it this time.

“Maybe you could give me a quick tour, I have to admit that I’m a bit curious. Especially about the bedroom.”

Normally Gwaine would have been all over me at this point, but now he’s just standing there, looking a bit ... ashamed?

That’s it, I’m not going through this again. I go straight to the bedroom.

To my surprise it’s empty.

Gwaine has followed me and says, “Merlin, darling, I like your initiative, but I don’t really have time to show you my bed right now. But maybe tonight...” he says suggestively.

I’m already berating myself that I’m seriously acting like an overly possessive boyfriend when I see it. There’s a door in Gwaine’s bedroom that leads to his bathroom and I can see from here that the light is on.

I feel Gwaine grab my hand but I pay no notice, I need to open that door.

I have to say Alex looks even better naked. Seriously, that man should never be wearing any clothes and it seems that he doesn’t have to when he’s at Gwaine’s apartment.

Alex looks a bit embarrassed when he sees me, he even utters a silent, “Sorry.”

I don’t care, I’m done here. I storm out of the bedroom and practically sprint to the door. Gwaine follows me.

This time, he makes more of an effort to stop me, he wildly grabs my arm. Before I can fight him, he says, “I’m sorry, Merlin, but this really means nothing. It’s just a fling! And it’s not like we’ve been dating for that long. Come on, we’re both adults, we should just talk about this.”

First, I take back my arm from him, having to use more force than I’d like to admit. “You hid him in your bathroom, Gwaine. That really says it all. Don’t call me again.”

I don’t even bother to go back to the office. I need to go home and drink at least two bottles of wine. Then I’ll call Morgana to bring me a third.

*

_It has become clear to me that I will never have a mature relationship._

_Time for me to focus on some other resolutions: AvalonTV..._

_But for now: MORE WINE!_

_*_

Luckily for me, my breakup with Gwaine happened on a Thursday which gave me the opportunity to call in sick and spend four days in the comforting presence of my friends and Morgana’s wine collection.

My friends have all been tremendously nice about it and I love them for it.

But on the other hand, I don’t want to be depressed about this for too long. I’m tired of fretting about men who treat me horribly. If my resolution of not dating any losers can’t come true, I’d rather not date anyone.

I’ll just have to accept that the perfect man only exists in romance novels cause the chances that I’ll meet him are pretty non-existent at this point.

That’s exactly why I’ve set my sights on AvalonTV. A job without Cenred, plus it would get me away from Gwaine. This is why it’s not smart to date someone in the office, I should have listened to Elena.

Whatever, what’s done is done. Must focus on my interview now.

I’m pretty nervous, a large part of me still doesn’t understand how I ever got that job with ‘Du Lac and Smith’. I was a complete mess at my interview, they must have been really desperate at the time.

I don’t think AvalonTV is quite as desperate. According to Cenred, there are at least 50 applicants. Of course, before he told me that, he laughed about ten minutes when I told him about my decision to apply. It made me even more determined to come here.

Before I can reconsider that determination, a man approaches me. He reminds me a bit of my grandfather.

“You must be Merlin Emrys. I’m Gaius Charles,” he introduces himself. “You can follow me to my office.”

“Thank you, sir,” I say inexplicably.

Gaius’s office is about the same size of Gwaine’s, although strangely it has a lot more books than Gwaine’s ever had.

“Sit down, boy,” Gaius says.

This time I follow his orders without speaking.

“So you’ve come here for the presenting position. Maybe you can start off by telling me about your vision on current events. What do you think about Syria for instance?”

Shit, I did not come prepared to this meeting. What was I thinking?

The room is quiet for a number of agonizingly seconds before I finally say something: “Um, it’s quite terrible how people are being treated in Syria. But then there are a lot of countries where people are being treated horribly. I think that’s why television can be quite comforting, you know. It takes your mind off things.”

To my complete and utter astonishment, Gaius has a smile on his face after hearing my frankly appalling answer.

“You have no idea how many essays I’ve heard about Syria and Russia, Mr. Emrys. People have really done their research. But we’re looking for someone personable, someone who can put a smile on people’s faces when they turn on their television in the morning. So I think I can invite you to the next round.”

“After just one question?” I ask for some unknown reason.

“Don’t worry, there will be three more rounds after this one,” Gaius says very seriously. “You haven’t got the job yet.”

*

I’ve got the job.

It’s been three weeks since my first interview and I’ve been on three other excruciating interviews but it was all worth it in the end.

Just seeing Cenred’s face when I told him, was worth the entire experience even if I get fired on my very first day. Cenred warned me several times that this was a possibility.

The only annoying thing about my leaving is that I have to face Gwaine one last time. Thanks to Mrs. Smith, my resignation is in order but she did insist that Gwaine signed the last papers as my direct superior. I could hardly tell her that I dumped him after he cheated on me.

I’m trying not to fret about it too much, but it’s a bit hard after all the awkwardness between us.

Fortunately, Gwaine listened to me and he never called me again. But he has developed this habit of watching me, quite intensely. Enough that other people at the office, who usually ignore me, have started to notice. They actually believe that I’m leaving because Gwaine has a grudge against me. I’ve never been more grateful that Gwaine insisted on hiding our relationship (if you can call it that) at work.

Now all I’ve got to do is knock on his door, get one signature and leave this building forever.

It’s a lot harder than it sounds like.

I’ve been standing in front of the door long enough to get some suspicious looks from passerby’s. I seriously need to knock, but all I can think about is the last time Gwaine opened a door for me.

In the end, the problem is solved by Suzie. One of my colleagues who doesn’t even bother knocking, she just waltzes in and I follow her gratefully.

Suzy drops a few documents on Gwaine’s desk and then waltzes back out. Meanwhile, it seems like Gwaine and I have started our very own staring contest.

Neither one of us seems eager to start up the conservation, but in the end I manage to find some courage.

“I’ve just come to drop off these papers, I need your signature.”

“You’re leaving,” Gwaine says, very observantly.

“Yes, I am,” I confirm.

“Even if I don’t sign this, you’re still leaving.”

“Yes,” I confirm again.

“I’m sorry, Merlin. You shouldn’t have to change jobs because of me, in fact maybe I can find some other solution...”

I interrupt him before he can continue, “You think I’m leaving because of you? Gwaine, this new job is a lot better than the dead-end job I have right now. And more importantly, it’s Cenred free. Trust me, not having to see your face is just a bonus.”

“Merlin, I realize I might have made a mistake, but I still think we should give this another chance, I really like you.”

“You cheated on me, that’s really the end of it.”

“Hang on,” Gwaine protests. “We never even talked about being exclusive, it’s not like we’re married or something.”

“Right, if we weren’t exclusive and you were doing nothing wrong, why exactly didn’t you just tell naked Alex to answer the door? You know what, I’m just fucking sick of men who keep lying to me and you’re no different. Please just sign these papers and let that be the end of it.”

At last, Gwaine reluctantly signs the papers I’ve given him. But it seems like he’s not done with pleading. “Merlin, when this new job doesn’t work out, you’re always welcome to come back. I think we both know you’re not going to last long over there.”

“When?” I repeat. “I thought Arthur Pendragon was a prat, but you’re really something else. I’d rather suck David Cameron’s cock than ever work for you again.”

With those last words, I storm out of his office. However, before I leave the building, I do something I should have done ages ago: confront Cenred.

He actually looks a bit intimidated when I go after him, I must look very pissed off.

“Cenred, I thought I should let you know that you’re the biggest wanker I’ve ever met and I sincerely hope you choke on your massive ego one day. Goodbye.”

Shockingly, Cenred is speechless while I feel like I've finally said what I’ve wanted to say for years.

This book is officially closed.

*


	4. Chapter 4

_Am properly excited about starting brand-new job. Only downside so far is that my mother is insisting on buying me a new wardrobe. Apparently my current wardrobe could harm the public._

_Only two weeks to go..._

*

One of the dangers of leaving your flat is that you run the risk of actually seeing people. Like for instance when I bumped into Mithian yesterday. She insisted on inviting me to her next dinner party.

It really does seem like I’m going from one crisis to another.

Unfortunately, Elena doesn’t seem to understand my eternal struggle when I bring up my invitation on our next pub meeting.

“Mithian is lovely, Merlin, I don’t see the problem,” she says innocently.

“Of course she’s lovely,” I admit. “But she’s also married.”

“Exactly!” Morgana shouts. “Mithian didn’t invite you, ‘Mithian and Mordred’ invited you because ‘Mithian and Mordred’ do everything together. They shop together, they go out together, they probably take a shit together.”

Will bursts out in laughter and says, “Do not put that image in my mind, please.”

Elena just rolls her eyes. “That’s disgusting, Morgana. And I mean, they do have a tendency to bring up their marriage on a regular basis. But I’m sure that you’re not going to be the only single guest there. That would be just cruel.”

*

When the first words out of Mithian’s mouth are, “Merlin, I just realized that you’re the only one here without a partner,” I can’t even pretend to be the slightest bit surprised. In fact, the more I think about it, this could be a good exercise. I’m going to be single at a lot of weddings in the future.

Mithian guides me to her living room where I’m greeted by seven curious guests. There is Mordred from ‘Mithian and Mordred’, Tom and Alice, Tristan and Isolde and of course a quite tense looking Arthur and Sophia.

At this point, I’m pretty sure that Arthur can smell an embarrassing Merlin event from a mile away. I’m shocked that he wasn’t in Gwaine’s apartment when I caught him out.

I wonder if Arthur and Sophia are engaged by now. Considering the venomous looks Sophia gives me when she spots me, I’m thinking it’s not in the bag yet. I’m also starting to wonder why exactly she hates me so much.

“Isn’t Gwaine here with you?” she demands to know.

“Um, no, we broke up a while ago,” I explain awkwardly.

Arthur relaxes immediately, probably worried that Gwaine was joining me later.

I sit down quickly, hoping that they’re not going to ask more questions. Turns out that there was absolutely no need to worry: Tom and Alice are getting married. So everyone talks about that during the entree, the main course and dessert.

Well not everyone, Arthur hasn’t said a word yet and neither have I. At least something we have in common, we’re not fans of weddings at the moment.

It’s only when our desserts are finished that Mithian diverts her attention back to me. “So, Merlin, I can’t believe you’re single again. I really thought your mother would have found you a suitable husband by now.”

Everyone at the table chuckles, except for Arthur and myself (it’s becoming a common thread).

“I believe in making my own faith,” I say. “I don’t know, there’s something rather desperate about these setups.”

It’s only after the words spill out of my mouth that I remember that Mithian and Mordred met through a setup. Fuck.

To my surprise, it’s Arthur who comes to my rescue. “I also believe that we decide our own faith,” he says. “You can’t force people to like each other. Love is supposed to be something that just _happens_.”

Damn, that sounds exactly like something a romantic hero would say.

I smile at Arthur. Now my smiles may not be as dazzling as Gwaine's, but they usually do the job. Arthur looks pleased enough.

“I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” Sophia says sceptically, effectively breaking the spell Arthur created.

Arthur shrugs. God, he really is gorgeous. Then he says, “I’m sure Tom and Alice are the true romantics at this table, they’re the ones getting married after all.”

And just like that, the conversation is back on track and everyone is discussing the wedding again.

A large part of me wants to hug Arthur Pendragon, I manage to suppress it.

I’m the first to leave/escape so Mithian escorts me back to the front door. It’s a relief when I hear the door close, but that relief is short lived since the door is opened up again immediately. But not by Mithian.

“Sorry, but you forgot your scarf,” Arthur says to me and he carefully puts the scarf into my hand.

“Oh, I didn’t realize.” People make fun of that red scarf all the time, but I love it and I’m grateful that Arthur made an effort to bring it to me. So I tell him that.

“Thank you, Arthur. And not just for the scarf, also for getting the married people off my back.”

“Well, we single people should stick together,” Arthur replies cheerily.

I raise an eyebrow. “Single? I thought you and Sophia were ...”

“Oh, we’re not together,” Arthur corrects me. “Sophia is a really good friend, she’s really been there for me after my divorce.”

Hmm, I decide not to mention that Sophia is planning their wedding at this very moment. Although now that I think about it, they never did act very coupley.

“To be honest, she’s the one who convinced me to come here tonight,” Arthur continues. “I didn’t know you’d be here but we do tend to run into each other a lot lately.”

“Yes, we do. Though I’m relieved that you never wore those yellow pants again.”

Arthur starts laughing which makes him look more gorgeous than ever. Seriously, what is happening to me?

“My mother chose them for me. She’s determined to get me an entire wardrobe.”

“Mine too, something else we have in common,” I say.

“Who would have thought we’d ever have this much in common, besides our lack of fashion sense?” Arthur jokes. He actually made a joke, I’m flabbergasted. “Well, I guess I should go back in, but it was good to see you again.”

Though I’m _stunned_ , I can’t disagree with him right now. “Yes, I’m sure we’ll see each other again some time.”

While Arthur goes back in, I’m starting to wonder if I’ve fallen into some alternate universe. Because I’m pretty sure I like Arthur Pendragon.

*

It’s the day after the dinner party and Elena has called everyone in for an emergency meeting at her place. Apparently Morgause wants them to move in together. After we’ve discussed that this is a good development and celebrated accordingly, I bring up my meeting with Arthur.

The three of them look very surprised and it’s Will who finally reveals, “Shit, he likes you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I protest vehemently. “He’s been so horrible to me. Like, do you even remember all those meetings we’ve had? No question about it, they were awful. Plus, he’s still a cheater.”

My friends look incredulous.

“Ok, I’m going to have to take one for the team,” Morgana announces. “I’m having lunch with Vivian.”

“Are you a masochist?” I exclaim.

She smirks. “No, but we need to find out the truth about Arthur Pendragon. Trust me, Merlin, I’m a journalist, I like to dig deep.”

Finally, Elena puts in her two cents. “Merlin Pendragon sounds pretty neat.”

Worst friends in the world.

*

While Morgana is off investigating, I’m busy preparing myself for my very first workday.

Very exciting.

Also, very stress-inducing. I’ve already been here a few times and Gaius has given me a very informative tour, but I still feel a bit like Merlin in Wonderland.

Especially when people start expecting me to pitch ideas for my first piece at my very first staff meeting. No one at work has ever cared about my opinion before, it’s very bizarre. As usual, I just start saying the first thing that pops into my head.

“What about puppies? Everyone likes puppies, we could go to a rescue centre. Though there will probably be some sick puppies there, so maybe it’s not such a good idea. Never mind,” I say hastily.

No one at the table is reacting to my rambling thoughts, until Gaius takes the lead again. “I like animals. They’re fluffy and people like to see something fluffy in the morning. Merlin, you’ll be visiting a rescue centre. Choose a cute dog and ask some harmless questions to whoever is in charge. Alright, everyone is dismissed.”

Wow, I can’t believe Gaius actually listened to my idea. This should be an easy start to my career. After all, what can possibly go wrong in a rescue centre?

*

_Many, many things can go wrong in a rescue centre, it turns out._

_Am officially the laughing stock of this city, possibly the country. Slightly inconsolable. This was supposed to be a fresh start and I literally showed my arse on the first day._

_Who knew such a small dog could tear up a new jeans so quickly?_

_The only good thing about it, is that my left arse cheek was on display and I’ve always considered him to be the superior arse cheek._

_Now must continue digging hole where I can stay forever._

*

The thing that annoys me most about all this, is that Gwaine and Cenred have been proven right. I am a useless mess. It’s just so fucking unfair.

Gaius hasn’t fired me or anything, but I don’t share my bright ideas at the staff meetings either. Basically, I could have stayed at my old job.

Until something happens that changes everything: Nadia is sick.

She’s our usual reporter for the more serious news. With her out of commission, they desperately need a replacement and that’s where I come in.

Cause it’s not just any story, it’s a very serious human rights story about two very prominent activists who are being deported from the country. Every channel would love an exclusive interview which is why we’re all gathered here in front of the court where they’re supposed to show up today.

We’ve been standing outside for three hours when my stomach starts making weird noises, I haven’t eaten anything since this morning and I think everyone knows it by now. I tell Jack, the cameraman, that I’m going to nip down the shop across the road for two minutes. Then I start walking really quickly, because with my luck this is the moment where the activists come out and give an interview to everyone.

Seeing Arthur Pendragon is a nice surprise, though I know that this time it’s not a coincidence. Arthur is a very well-known lawyer so it’s not really surprising that he’s in charge of this case.

“Merlin, I didn’t know you were covering this story,” Arthur says. He’s holding a bag of crisps, it looks like I’m not the only one with an empty stomach.

“Yes, Nadia was supposed to cover it, but she’s ill, so here I am. Although, I’m guessing we’re all wasting our time here since it doesn’t look like your clients are giving an interview today.”

“On the contrary, they want to do an interview, I’m the one who’s being cautious. Now that I think about it, you work for AvalonTV right? Maybe we could make a deal, a small network might be exactly what this case needs, since we’re trying to prove how loyal they are to this city.”

“Hmm, you’re very good at your job, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I’m the best,” Arthur replies. A couple of weeks ago, I would have thought that sounded unbearably smug, but now I can tell that he’s actually making fun of himself.

Maybe this new reporter job could help me to find out how to judge people because I seriously suck at it.

*

I think it’s safe to say that Arthur Pendragon saved my arse.

Getting that exclusive interview has done wonders for my career. People are taking me seriously again, even my mother is impressed and that’s no easy feat.

And it looks like I’m in for another night with new revelations since Morgana’s finally been able to get in touch with Vivian who’s been on a very inconvenient holiday.

We’re all gathered at Morgana’s house and by the looks of it, she has some spectacular news to share. She’s still busy serving everyone drinks when Will impatiently asks, “Are you going to spill it or not? It can’t be that shocking.”

“On the contrary, dear William,” she says triumphantly. “What I’m about to tell you is going to change everything.  Let’s start at the beginning: Arthur and Gwaine have been friends forever, ever since they went to university together.”

I cut in, “I already know that part.”

“Shh, be quiet, Merlin, I’m telling a story here,” Morgana admonishes me. “Then one day, Arthur meets Leon, an American, and it’s love at first sight. Arthur falls for him so hard that after only six months he proposes. According to Vivian, this was very uncharacteristic for Arthur since he’s always very careful when it comes to matters of the heart. But not this time. Arthur and Leon get married only one year after they’ve met and Gwaine is his best man. Everything seems to be going brilliant for Arthur: amazing career and amazing husband. Then one day, he comes home a little early...”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“And he catches his amazing husband and his best friend fucking in his bed,” I fill in.

Morgana nods. “But there is more,” she adds. “Gwaine and Arthur start fighting and then Arthur finds out that this isn’t the first time that Gwaine has slept with someone Arthur is involved with.”

“What the fuck!” we collectively shout.

“Apparently, Gwaine finds it impossible to keep little Gwaine in his trousers,” Morgana informs us. “To summarize: Gwaine is a huge arsehole and Arthur suffers from a serious broken heart so you’d better be careful if you start dating him.”

“I can’t date Arthur Pendragon,” I say quietly.

“Why not?” Elena questions me. “He doesn’t sound like a loser to me and he clearly likes you.”

“Oh come on, after I’ve been flaunting Gwaine in his face,” I snort. “He probably thinks that I know that Gwaine had an affair with his husband. God, I can’t believe that Gwaine had me fooled!”

“Don’t beat yourself up too much,” Will consoles me. “He managed to fool Arthur and as a lawyer he’s surrounded by liars all day.”

We continue discussing the Arthur situation until we all pass out.

The next morning, I find out that it should be mandatory to hide the phone of a very drunk person.

Apparently I invited Arthur to my birthday party next week.

And he said yes.

Shit.

*


	5. Chapter 5

 

_Have foolishly promised to cook at my own birthday party. Realized later that I cannot cook at all._

_Must really work on that in the future._

*

Happy birthday to me.

Or not.

Definitely not when I look at the state of my kitchen. I don’t use this place often but even I know that it’s not supposed to look like this.

In my infinite wisdom, I decided to use some recipes from the internet. Big mistake, I should have just ordered something. Everything I cooked is either burned or still frozen.

In conclusion: massive disaster.

Before I can properly freak out, I’m distracted by someone ringing the bell. Which is very weird since it’s only five and I invited everyone here at six. None of my friends have a habit of coming early. When I say six, they usually arrive at seven.

To my surprise, I find Arthur waiting for me.

“Hello,” I mutter, a bit taken aback by his arrival since a part of me still wasn’t sure he would show up.

“Hello, Merlin,” he says politely and offers me a bottle of very good wine.

After inspecting the bottle, I quickly come to the conclusion that he’s the most generous guest I’ve ever had.

Strangely, the next thing he does is apologize. “I’m sorry, I did want to bring you a present but I couldn’t think of anything.”

I wave away his concerns. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting a present. No one else is bringing anything either, this dinner is all the celebration I need at my age.”

“Alright, then,” he says awkwardly. Then I realize why he sounds awkward, I still haven’t invited him in.

“Please, come in,” I say, putting on my host voice. “I have to admit I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up this early, dinner isn’t exactly ready yet.”

“Oh, your text said five, but I probably should have checked again,” Arthur apologizes again.

It’s becoming a new pattern that I try to stop before it gets out of hand.

“No need to apologize,” I say resolutely, “I was quite drunk when I send you that text.”

“Were you now?” Arthur asks, his eyes are twinkling mischievously.

“Well I was a bit tipsy,” I lie. In reality, I was absolutely smashed. “But that probably explains the mix-up. Though maybe it’s good you’re here, cause I think I might need some help in the kitchen or in finding a delivery service.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Worse, you’ll find out immediately.”

Arthur has to stifle a laugh when he sees exactly what I have been cooking. “So you’re not the next Nigella Lawson, I guess,” he concludes wisely.

“Pfft, my arse is just as amazing as hers,” I counter.

Am I delusional or is there a slight blush on Arthur’s cheeks? Yep, he has definitely seen my left arse cheek on display.

“Ok, can I check out your fridge?” he asks suddenly, changing the subject completely.

“Of course, but I have to warn you that I’ve used most of the food I own to create this mess.”

It only takes Arthur a few seconds to collect all the contents of my fridge. He picks out the eggs and says confidently, “Everyone loves an omelette.”

*

“Merlin, I have to say that I’m very surprised that we’re not eating pizza right now,” Morgana says. “We all know that you’re a fucking awful cook. Lucky for us that you’ve invited Arthur.”

Morgana, Will and Elena all look very pleased with themselves, it’s quite annoying. Even if I’m relieved that they seem to hit it off with Arthur. To be honest, I’m quite smitten myself, especially when Arthur singlehandedly makes pancakes for dessert.

I can’t recall any of my boyfriends ever cooking for me. Not that Arthur is my boyfriend, I’m not even sure if this is a date or not. If it is, it’s quite an unconventional one with three peeping Tom’s joining us.

I’m so occupied with watching Arthur that Will has to shove me to finally get my attention. “There’s someone at your door,” he tells me.

Which doesn’t make sense, everyone I invited is here. Could be my mother deciding to drop by but I’m meeting up with my parents this weekend. Oh God, I hope it’s not my landlord, this is really not the time to bore me with yet another lecture about my sink.

Too bad that it’s not any of these people because even my annoying landlord would have been more welcome at this party than Gwaine.

“Merlin, hi,” he has the audacity to say.

I get the distinct feeling that he visited a bar before deciding to come here. I slightly push him back in the hallway and close the door behind me cause I really don’t want Arthur to see Gwaine at my doorstep.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask him, trying my hardest to not shout the question. I don’t want the others to pick up on our conversation.

“I just made such a mistake, Merlin. The whole Alex thing... it was so fucking stupid. So stupid, I don’t know what I was thinking, I probably wasn’t thinking. But you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want you back.”

To say that I’m astonished after that little speech, doesn’t quite cover it. “Clearly you’re not really thinking right now, because I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not interested in you. Whatever we had in the first place, it’s over and I’d really like it if you left me alone.”

I don’t know what Gwaine is planning on doing, but before he can make up his drunken mind, the door is pushed open ... by Arthur.

“Merlin, I could hear you shouting, is everything all right?”

Shit, why does he have to be such a gentleman? As usual when he sees Gwaine, Arthur’s easy demeanour disappears and he retreats back into his shell. How could I not have noticed that hurt look in his eyes?

I try to diffuse the situation. “Arthur, Gwaine is a bit drunk right now and saying some very stupid things but he’s leaving.”

“Fucking hell, I’m not leaving!” Gwaine protests. “What the fuck are you even doing here, Pendragon? Is this supposed to be some twisted payback for that American?”

“I don’t play games,” Arthur says very coldly. “I’m only here because Merlin invited me. Now leave, like he asked you to.”

“You know what, Pendragon, I’m not going anywhere until you and me have it out.”

“Gwaine, just go already,” I hiss through gritted teeth. I can practically smell the lingering fight in the air.

It’s too late, I can see the cracks in Arthur’s armour. “After everything you’ve put me through, you want to have it out now. Fine, let’s go downstairs and settle this on the street.”

I try to reason with the most sensible man. “Arthur, please this is ridiculous, you do not have to fight each other, you're an adult, at least I think you are.”

I’ll never know if I got through to him because then Gwaine throws the first punch, quite unsuccessfully however.

“Fine!” I shout. “Just get outside before my landlord finally gets an excuse to throw me out.”

They follow my instructions.

It’s not too long before all of us are outside, watching Gwaine and Arthur fight each other. Or at least trying to since neither one of them manages to get a punch in.

“This is actually pretty hot,” Morgana remarks. I do not share her enthusiasm. “Seriously, two hot guys fighting over you, we should film this.”

“They’re not fighting over me,” I argue. “They’re fighting over Leon. And it’s not hot when they’re both acting like idiots, at least Gwaine can use alcohol as his excuse.”

“Arthur does have a lot of pent-up anger,” Elena says seriously. “Perhaps it’s good that he’s getting rid of that frustration.”

“Oh, it’s great, I just wish he hadn’t chosen my birthday party as the time to do it.” I turn to Will. “Could you please break up that fight before they both fall in that fountain?”

Will shrugs. “Sure.”

Will has worked as a bouncer for three weeks and has taken several self defence classes to meet women so I know he can handle two clearly inexperienced fighters.

First, he grabs Gwaine by the waist and then he says to Arthur, “Mate, I think it’s better to end this here if you ever want to set foot in Merlin’s flat again.” Even to me, he sounds pretty ominous.

Arthur’s face changes immediately, like he had forgotten where exactly he was fighting. He doesn’t pay any attention to Gwaine who’s still struggling against Will’s grip and walks back towards me.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin, I really didn’t plan on fighting on your birthday party.”

“I get it, after everything he’s done to you, but maybe it’s best if you go home right now. The party is pretty much over anyway.”

Arthur nods, a bit crestfallen but he agrees. “Can I call you later?” he asks softly.

“Ok,” I respond, that’s about all the response I can muster at the moment. Then I go back inside without wasting my breath on Gwaine, I’m sure Will can handle him.

*

I still don’t understand how such a great night turned into such a train wreck. It’s like I attract misery. Still, when Arthur texts me ‘seeking my permission to stop by later’ (it’s cute how posh he is), I don’t hesitate to give it to him.

Gwaine hasn’t contacted me at all, think he finally got the message. I hope he finds someone who suits him better.

To stop myself from worrying, I start cleaning up the place until finally Arthur arrives. I don’t why I’m so relieved, I guess I was probably afraid that he would decide that I wasn’t worth pursuing after all.

I let him in quickly and he still looks very apologetic. “I’m glad you wanted to talk,” he starts up the no doubt awkward conversation. “Because I think there are some things we need to clear the air about.”

“Yes,” I say eagerly. “Can I just start off by saying that I had no idea that Gwaine slept with your husband? In fact, he told me that you were the one sleeping with _his_ husband.”

Arthur scoffs. “That sounds like something he would do, he’s such a clotpole.”

Confused, I ask, “What’s a clotpole?”

“Just a really big idiot,” Arthur answers. “Of course I was also acting like an idiot last night.”

“When I caught my boyfriend cheating on me, I threatened him with a frying pan so I know how you feel. Though I have to say that when I caught Gwaine cheating, I just ran. I don’t think there is a right way to deal with a situation like this. You know what my resolution was this year? Not dating losers, clearly I failed there.”

“So this is probably a bad moment to ask you out on a date?”

There seems to a grin attached to my face right now. “I’d love to. Even though we got off to a bad start... I like you, Arthur.”

“I seriously like you too, Merlin, like from the moment I met you but I’m afraid that I left a rather bad first impression. In my defence, my mother was driving me mad at the time, she introduced me to about twenty people. She was very determined to see me happy again.”

“Yeah, and I think I recall you saying that I didn’t really have the right manners and class to attract you.”

Arthur buries his head in his hands in embarrassment. “Oh my God, I can’t believe that you heard that. That was me trying to  be firm with my mother for once in my life. I don’t get it, I’ve stood up to some of the biggest criminals of this world but I seem to be powerless against my own mother.”

“Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I’m glad we cleared that up. I was thinking that we could grab a coffee or something. Like you probably suspect, I don’t really have anything here to offer you.”

“That sounds nice,” Arthur says.

“I’ll just grab my scarf, be right back.” I hurry to my room to grab my scarf and to quickly check out my hair in the mirror.

Then I suddenly hear the front door close, that’s weird. I come back to an empty living room. Where the hell is Arthur?

I try to find my answer in the living room but nothing seems out of order. Except ... my diary is on the couch and it’s open. I pick it up and see exactly what Arthur’s just read.

_Update (I’m drunk again):_

_I hate Arthur Pendragon. He’s an utter twat and I hope to never see him again._  
   
Crap, Arthur probably thinks I’m a moron. I leave my flat, there’s probably no point in chasing after him, but I’d like to explain my case. I’m only five minutes away from my flat when I bump into someone: Arthur. Apparently he didn’t run very far.

“Arthur, please take no notice of the nonsense you just read...”

He cuts me off before I embarrass myself even more, “I’m the one who should be apologizing, I had no business reading your private diary. I sat down in the couch and thought you were reading a book. So I picked it up and then I read what you said about me...”

“Utter nonsense,” I repeat, probably to no avail.

“Oh no, you were right, I was a twat. Our first meeting was a disaster. That’s why I had this idea... God, you’ll probably think this is incredibly cheesy, but I thought that maybe we could make a fresh start.”

It’s only then that I notice he’s holding a shopping bag. I’m astonished when he pulls out something that looks suspiciously like a diary.

“That’s why I thought I’d buy you a new diary to write about our new start, which I’ll never read of course. That’s a promise.”

I’m speechless.

“I don’t know what to say,” I mutter. “I don’t think I can say anything.”

Disappointment is written all over his face.

“I think in cases like these, action should be taken.”

So I step closer to Arthur and press my lips against his. He responds immediately and before I know it we’re French kissing in the middle of the street. If it was up to me, we’d be doing this forever but after a while people start whistling. We’re drawing a bit too much attention.

Arthur sighs and dreamily says, “We should go back to your flat.”

“Definitely. Thanks for the diary, by the way, even if I’m not planning on writing in it immediately.”

When Arthur looks at me like I’m the best present he could have gotten at Christmas, I realize that this it: I’m happy.

Of course later, when we shag, I’m positively delirious with happiness.

Like, seriously happy, once I come down from my cloud, I might write down some of the details because they deserve to be saved for the rest of humankind.

*

Between the new job and all the dating and shagging, I haven’t even found the time to tell my mother that I’ve got a boyfriend. It’s about time that I rectify that situation. When I ask Arthur if he wants to joins me and he agrees, I know that this has to be true love for sure. Especially since he’s already met her.

Obviously, my mother is absolutely delighted that her matchmaking skills have finally amounted to something, she’s already dreaming of grandchildren.

The only surprising thing about our visit is that my dad corners me in the kitchen and says, “I like this boy, Merlin. I’m glad that you’ve found the one.” Then he ruffles my hair and walks back out, leaving me flabbergasted. My dad has never expressed any opinion whatsoever about my boyfriends.

But everything about this relationship seems different than any I had before. My parents like him, my friends like him and I love him.

I think I might have found my happy ending...

*

_I think this is officially the end of my diary writing days._

_As AvalonTV’s newest reporter, Arthur Pendragon’s boyfriend and ever loyal friend, I can hardly find the time to keep writing these updates._

_Well ... maybe a small update every now and then in my very new diary._

_The ear thing in particular is still bugging me even if Arthur tells me that ‘he loves me just the way I am.’ (Bless him, he’s such a romantic.)_

_Besides, I have a feeling that even happy endings can be quite eventful in my case..._

 

THE END


End file.
